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First day back to work

First day back in the saddle.  Sitting in the little room that I rent in Chico, writing things to do on my yellow notepad and drinking coffee.  There's a sign in my window that says "what am I willing to do to make this situation a little bit better?"  Well, I've taken a step.  I got a job.  The same job I had when I left to hike the trail.  Not how I thought the story would end.  Did I fail to make the necessary transformation to take the next step forward after my hike?  It's a good question.  Is there an answer?  If I am wildly successful at this job, does that prove anything about the usefulness of my hike?  If I fail at this job or decide to do something else even if I am successful, does that say anything about the usefulness of my hike?

I have no frickin' idea.  Not now anyway.  I'm just trying to move forward and build a reasonable life.  Having a reasonable job is well, reasonable.  I'm tired of feeling guilty for existing.

I'm not sure w…

A Portable Exploration of Self

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