First day back in the saddle. Sitting in the little room that I rent in Chico, writing things to do on my yellow notepad and drinking coffee. There's a sign in my window that says "what am I willing to do to make this situation a little bit better?" Well, I've taken a step. I got a job. The same job I had when I left to hike the trail. Not how I thought the story would end. Did I fail to make the necessary transformation to take the next step forward after my hike? It's a good question. Is there an answer? If I am wildly successful at this job, does that prove anything about the usefulness of my hike? If I fail at this job or decide to do something else even if I am successful, does that say anything about the usefulness of my hike?
I have no frickin' idea. Not now anyway. I'm just trying to move forward and build a reasonable life. Having a reasonable job is well, reasonable. I'm tired of feeling guilty for existing.